Double Crush

I just got a job today (part-time nanny to a 6yo with CP), and it's just in time. Because I have been going boy-crazy, and friends theorize it's because I have too much time on my hands.

I've been seeing someone for the past three months, and since our relationship is not legitimately exclusive, I've been dating other people. Honestly, it takes some of the burden off him - he can't be everywhere at once. But recently, a curious thing has happened. I've been taken over by the Crush.

In the course of my usual "hey there, wanna go out, how about the Dodger game/art opening/karoake showdown on Friday?" I have developed a Crush (actually two, but who's counting?). What they have in common with my usual "auxilliary dating partners"(ADP) is that they are both clearly interested, what seperates them is that I cannot have them.

Perhaps that's the overall definition of a crush, but when you aren't working steadily, you have plenty of time to replay conversations in your head, obsess about what you were wearing the last time you saw them, wonder what they are doing at this exact instant...essentially, you become 15 again. And for those of you that knew me then, I feel the cold slither, too.

Really it's not so much that I can't have them, it's more that I shouldn't. They both reside in that undesirable arrondissement of Ami des Amis, and the streets there are narrow and always have two sides - forcing someone to walk in the middle. That's why I'm glad to be getting back to work - I'm hoping what friends say is true; that with my thoughts occupied with tasks, I won't be tempted to take any detours through mysterious alleys, no matter how inviting they seem.