28 going on 85...

Yes, I admit it, I romanticize the elderly. It's probably one of the more bizarre aspects of my personality, thinking how great it will be I'm old and I can go around offending people with few repercussions. A friend pointed out that the elderly are more likely to be victims, but I said "by that time, I'll deserve it."

I think it’s more about being, seeming, feeling stuck at my current age. I see people older than me with relationships, houses and/or children, and I want those things, but I’ve always sort of said “when the time is right.” My philosophy has been that life expectancies are climbing, and that really, the 20’s are a drop in the bucket. But I’ve come to realize that most of the people with those things all started at my age or younger, and I’m finally experiencing the “quarter-life crisis” I previously mocked in others.

So here it is, the formal apology. I’m sorry I didn’t come “dream shopping” with you to open houses. I’m sorry I didn’t understand the crazy rhythm of your biological clock, or that cute onesie you bought and hid away. I’m sorry that even as I consoled you after break-ups, I didn’t realize the full emotional impact not finding someone was actually having.

I apologize to all of you. All I can say is that I had no idea what it was like, trying to become an adult. It sucks. But I promise to always tell you when support socks go on sale, and which checker tolerates our stories about “back in ‘aught five”.