Lord of the Flies

Dear Sir,

Pleased to meet you. I've been under attack by the insectoid inhabitants of this planet, and I was hoping together, we could band together and form a pact.

As you know, I've long held a trap-and-release treaty with the spiders; the only caveat being the six-foot perimeter around my bed; the "kill zone". And you are also probably familiar with my "no swat" policy concerning your brethren (although I'm not at liberty to control my dog's "chase and snap" activities). Given my live and let die paradigm, I was surprised to find myself victim of no less than 10 insect bites and one bee sting in the past two weeks. This is unacceptable.

I'm assuming you're familiar with game theory. Up until this point, we've been operating in a state of mutual cooperation in the Assurance Game - but suddenly the insects are playing Chicken with a prediliction for defection. This type of game will inevitably degenerate to Tit-for-Tat, but I'm giving you one more opportunity to return to our previously mutually beneficial game; offering "forgiveness", if you will.

If a suitable resolution can not be reached, I am prepared to act in my own defense.

Thank you for your time, and I hope to hear from you soon.

P.S. Was it completely necessary to have the bee sting swell my forearm to Popeye-like dimensions accompanied by red, vein-tracing streaking?